Monday, monday

Well it's another Monday at work and I'm down again.
A bit of a catch up.
Last week Miss C's Grandy passed away. He was diagnosed with cancer a little while back and it all escalated very quickly. It's awful that it happened but it's fortunate that it didn't get dragged out while he got worse and worse.
There's been very little going on in my life of late and I've been trying to concentrate on being there for my girl.
Unfortunately I mucked things up over the weekend and am feeling rather down about it. Suffice to say on the first weekend after a very long week for Miss C with running around after people and funerals etc, I kind of dropped the ball.
On Saturday we snuggled up with a dvd and that was all very nice and cozy, it was good to just be alone with my girl again.
Then yesterday I wasn't feeling so hot and wasn't really with it. As a result I hadn't really asked Miss C if she wanted to do something at all. I left her feeling unloved.
I felt awful that I'd made her feel like that and really didn't have any excuse. Sure I wasn't feeling well but I knew that she was still grieving after her Grandy passing away and I should have been there for her, doing everything I possibly could to cheer her up.
Sometimes I'm just a bit of an idiot. I mean, I can't imagine my life without her in it now. I don't mean to be such an oaf but turns out I am.
It's something I have to keep working on, because I don't want to lose my girl.
Her flatmate does really nice things for her every now and then, and then he'll go and do something really thoughtless and stupid. I don't want to be that kind of person.
I really don't.